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Taiwan Waiting Child

Our China Adoption Story

Our names are Stacy Moak and Jim Pinson and we have been married for 8 years in May of this year. We have three biological children, Caroline 7, Jake 5, and Juliana 7 months. Now we have Emily Yansong 11 months. We obviously began this process before Juliana arrived in our family, but Emily was not something that we considered disposable. We often answered the question, So are you still going to get that China baby? The answer was a resounding "Absolutely!!" without hesitation. When we got to China, we found several other couples in the same situation. I guess I add this because if any of you who are reading this have found out that you will have a larger family that you anticipated, hang in there. It's so totally worth it.

There is so much that I would like to share with everyone. First let me tell you that your in-China experience will be great. Shigu is wonderful. He knows exactly what is going on, even if you don't. So, don't worry. Even if you don't have everything that you need when you get there, he will help you get it. This is not to indicate that you should be sloppy, just don't make yourself sick worrying about it. Everything will work out.

I suppose I will start with the actually arrival of Emily in our lives. We were in our hotel room in Changsha and had been there about 1 ½ hours when someone knocked on our door. We opened the door and the orphanage worker handed us the baby and very shortly left. She said that she would come back later to answer our questions. Here was this beautiful child that we had waited so long to have and whom we loved so much already ---- and she hated us!!!! That's right, she was scared to death. She was so stiff when we tried to hold her and she cried and cried. When we touched her hand she quickly withdrew. When we touched her face, she jerked away. I told Jim to turn on the Chinese MTV so that there would be music and the language would sound familiar. It seemed to help her calm down. I held her tight and cried and cried. I cried for all of the emotions that she was feeling and for the fact that she was experiencing her second abandonment in her short life; I cried for my own frustration and realization that I couldn't calm her down at that moment even though I loved her with all of my heart; and I cried out of pure relief that this long journey was finally complete and I had this beautiful child in my arms. When we went to dinner with the other people in our group that night, all of the children relaxed a bit and became more social.

Over the next couple of days, Emily quickly decided that we weren't that bad after all. We used a snuggly, which I highly recommend and is also recommended by the bonding literature, and we faced her inward toward us. Jim and I alternated carrying her so that she would get to know both of us. Within about 2 days, she began to reach for our faces and touch us and explore us. When she would babble out loud, I would repeat whatever she said. I have no scientific reason to believe this made any sense, but she seemed to respond to it...she would look at me and usually talk some more. So, we carried on this conversation in her baby language that meant absolutely nothing except we loved each other and it was safe to explore with each other.

When they brought her to us, we were told that she could not sit unassisted for very long. But, before we left China, no only was she sitting; she was crawling and pulling to a standing position. So, she progressed very quickly with our attention.

Some words of advice about packing: you do not need a suit or a dress, don't pack one because it takes up too much room; either pack an extra bag that you can stuff later or plan to buy one in China because you will shop; carry pictures of you other children if you have any and of any relatives that you would like to have special gifts for because the artwork in China is amazing. You can get granite etchings, watercolor paintings, and inside bottle paintings (if you don't know what that is now, you will when you get back-trust me they are amazing). Also, when you get to Guangzhou or however you spell it, if you need something, from diapers to antibiotics, go to Jennifer's right in front of the White Swan. They have a room that's like a swap shop - if you don't need it, leave it, and if you need it, take it. That was a neat discovery. Make sure to take a broad spectrum antibiotic for the baby. Most of the children in our group had a yucky nose and some upper respiratory stuff. The antibiotics worked to clear it right up. Don't worry or lose sleep about forgetting something that you or the baby may need. China has shopping malls and you can get absolutely everything. Jim forgot blue jeans and we bought some there. Furthermore, it's cheaper in China!! We had all of our film developed there (to avoid even the possibility of it getting stripped in the airport) and it only cost about 3.50 for a 36 shot roll. The development was excellent and we had fun sharing our pictures with each other at dinner every night. Bring cheerios - Emily has 8 teeth! Also the teething biscuits are great to have. Don't wait your suitcases down with American formula and baby food. Buy it in China and use what the orphanage was using - that's all we could get Emily to take. We ended up leaving our American formula at Jennifer's!!

Don't take a blow dryer - all of the hotels that Xiumin will put you in already have them wired in. You don't need to take a "hot pot" for boiling water either - your hotel will have those as well.

A word about the people you will meet along this journey - like each of you, these are truly amazing people. For many different reasons, each of us made this decision. You will meet people who are adopting special needs children. You will meet many people who already have one child adopted from China and are now back for the second child. Some people had fertility issues coming in to this journey, and many did not. Each of their stories is different, but everyone has one thing in common now - a Chinese daughter! The people are more tolerant and open and have a greater capacity for acceptance and love that the average citizen that most of us interact with on a day-to-day basis. The atmosphere is extremely supportive. Everyone is willing to share. One lady brought diapers and her child was already potty trained and didn't need them. She gave them to us. She wasn't even in our travel group, but we became very close to she and her husband.

I haven't gone into the sight seeing stuff very much because you can read most of that on the internet. My advice is DO IT!! Do everything that is arranged for you. Go early and see everything that you can. You might never get a chance to go back to China and it's a really really long flight, so get your money's worth while you're there. But, what I really wanted to share is the experiences of getting the child because that is the part that is unique for each family who takes this journey.

Finally, your baby will smile and laugh and you will just be overwhelmed. And, then you realize that the cost is insignificant, the wait really is worth it, and the rest of your life will be truly blessed.

Above all else HAVE FUN and get to know your daughter's culture. China is an amazing place with great art and wonderful people.

Good luck to all of you as you await your journey.

Cheers, Stacy and Jim
Caroline, Jacob, Emily and Juliana

If you are interested in more information about adopting from China, please click here.